I am guessing that you are reaching out because you have an awareness that something is in your way, you're stuck in old patterns and stories, or you're at a crossroads in your life and you're looking for support. Maybe you sense inner conflict, or you are experiencing negative emotions or overwhelming feelings. Perhaps there is no identifiable key issue, but a general sense of dis-ease.
It is possible to take a pragmatic approach to moving through those obstacles that lie outside of us, but the most significant obstacles and barriers to growth are our internal ones. They are barriers to your progress because you are unaware of what they are. In order to change these unhelpful patterns and dismantle the obstacles we need to discover the unconscious drivers behind them.
The good news is that because these barriers live within you, you have the power to change them.
One-to-one 90-minute counselling sessions
My approach to counselling is rooted in Depth Psychology and the Jungian concept of the shadow and the way in which aspects held in shadow and those unresolved impacts experienced earlier in our lives can have a huge influence on our energy levels and the way we experience our day to day life and relationships.
All my work is underpinned by the Psychology of Selves and it is through the tools of Shadow Work, Voice Dialogue and Internal Family Systems Therapy that we access your inner community of parts or selves, enabling you to experience these aspects and build the inner relationships which is the essential first step in moving forward.
The initial session will focus on what is currently alive for you, what you are wanting from our work together. If you are unsure where to begin we will have a deep and broad discussion about how you live your life: what works really well and what doesn’t, what areas of life flow and which ones are stuck, what is the focus in the foreground and what is neglected in the background?
Further sessions begin to unpick patterns of being and provide a map to move out from the trap of conditioning, bringing awareness and conscious choice to your lives and your lived experience.
Through this way of working together confusion is quickly dismantled, compassion for self is found and inner clarity emerges. The resulting insight can then be used to inform practical next steps on your journey.
A series of shorter counselling sessions can be really beneficial when longer-term support is wanted, and when working in shorter length sessions is a more accessible way for you to experience the work.
Relational intelligence comes from knowing the energies within us, noticing them when they are there and remaining in relationship with them, not being hijacked by them, standing in the centre, in the opposites with balance in our lived experience .
The aim of our work together
My job in these sessions together is to listen out for what is happening for you below your level of awareness, in the patterns you experience, the behaviours you employ, the beliefs underpinning your choices, and the dynamics that repeat in your life.
We will explore what ever is necessary for you to get the clarity that you are looking for, or for you to move through whatever difficulty it is that you are currently experiencing.
My intention in our work together is to facilitate, support and encourage you into greater emotional and relational intelligence by:
1) Developing an awareness of the selves within you
In order to gain clarity, resolution or healing to the challenges you are experiencing and to identify and dismantle the unconscious drivers, bringing awareness to the part of you that is doing the experiencing is an essential first step.
Exploring your unique inner village of selves, your inner community of characters is fundamental to inner knowledge, growth and healthy relationships, and is beautifully shame lifting.
2) Identifying, exploring and working with your shadow aspects
Access and work with those aspects of you that are held in shadow, bringing healing and integration to the parts of you that you have ignored, repressed or denied.
3) Growing and developing your inner leader
Grow and develop your inner leader and inner teacher (be that the Aware Ego Process, The Self, or The Sovereign) that part of you that can lead you intuitively from a place of clarity, awareness and choice through the mystery and wonder of human relationship.
This is about you maturing and emerging into a stronger version of you, graduating from the burdens and conditioning you don't need anymore, and incorporating and integrating new ways of being.
I believe we all have access to an inner leader who is inherently whole and can move us through life with confidence, clarity and calm. It is the parts of us held in shadow and those parts of us carrying unnecessary emotional burdens that occlude our access to this place of clarity, presence and purpose.
Maps to the psyche
When there is a lot of inner turbulence or confusion around what you are experiencing in your life, making use of a map of the psyche can help us to understand your way of being in the world and help in navigating your inner space to identify your shadows and where they are playing out.
Approaching your inner world through the Lens of the Archetypes
The Jungian lens of the Archetypes can be an extremely helpful map of the psyche to employ as we explore your challenges or difficulties. Each archetype contains light and shadow qualities, healthy and unhealthy expressions. It is likely you will resonate strongly with some archetypes, and others may feel underdeveloped or even estranged. By exploring how these areas of personality show up in your life and identifying and exploring the experiences or wounding that have led to these parts of you closing down, we can work towards the goal of you having full and balanced access to each of these four archetypes, so that you are able to call on the most appropriate archetype at any point to support you and bring you back into alignment.
Approaching your inner world through the Lens of the Primary Selves
The work of Hal and Sidra Stone approaches the individual from the premise that we often identify with two or three primary selves (our operating ego), ways of being that develop as we grow up with the aim of keeping us safe and getting attention and love (a perfectionist, pusher, rescuer etc). Exploring these primary selves, and their opposites (your disowned selves) allows you to separate from and build relationship with the parts you are dominated by and that dominate your lived experience. "The separation from primary selves and the discovery and integration of disowned selves creates a revolution of consciousness, an Aware Ego process, where we can relate in truth and at a deeper level in our lives."
What will you gain from these sessions?
You will learn to notice the triggers for your old patterns and since you will be in greater connection with your inner experience, you will experience new ways of responding to the events and interactions in your life. You will start to understand and build a relationship with the parts that comprise your psyche, and through this process of exploration, accessing the thoughts, feelings, beliefs and ways of being in the world, you will find you separate from these previously unconscious aspects and begin to be in relationship with them in a new, more conscious way.
As we identify the parts of you at play, the opportunity arises to work with these parts individually.
Underneath reactive or destructive patterns and behaviours is often a vulnerability that is being protected. Often these destructive patterns or behaviours have a protective intention and were adopted early in life for very good reason. Without conscious work in later life, these patterns continue to play out even when the threat to the individual no longer exists. It is these old reactive patterns that become problems for us, making life challenging, complicated and difficult.
I often find that once we are able to identify, build relationship and work with these vulnerable, often younger parts of ourselves, the problematic unconscious proactive or reactive management patterns are no longer necessary and they rapidly reduce in frequency and ultimately disappear.
As we work together with your inner family of parts you will find yourself moving from a place of reaction to a place of responding as a space develops within your inner world where awareness can emerge and where our innate Inner Leader, Self or Sovereign has space to dwell and influence our lives in a cascade of support.
What do you want to focus on?
Counselling sessions are free-flowing and tailored to your specific concerns and level of integration. You are the guiding force, so the conversation and the work goes as deep as you are comfortable with. I provide an accepting and compassionate holding that is highly supportive as well as, when needed, challenging: The challenge coming with a kindness to gently encourage your deeper unfolding.
Do you want to build your self-esteem and your ability to be authentic?
Building greater inner confidence to carry into your relationships and your life.
Identify, clarify and work with your personal needs and desires.
Forming and holding good boundaries.
Integrating healthy anger for authentic assertiveness.
Stepping in to more clarity and presence in your everyday life.
Accessing your innate well of inner power, allowing you to confidently pursue and achieve what is important for you and your life.
Are you suffering from burnout or do issues with your ability to build healthy relationship stop you from taking steps forward?
Exploring feelings of hopelessness or incapacitating vulnerability.
Opening into greater intimacy in your life through exploring barriers to intimacy and how this leads to patterns of avoidance.
Accessing the spontaneous, playful and creative parts of you through working with your Inner Child.
Increasing equanimity and inner peace through working with and bringing healing to your addictions, compulsions or obsessive behaviours, thoughts or feelings.
Processing stuck emotions to facilitate a lived experience of flow in your life. Accessing and having grief held and witnessed.
Do you struggle with a harsh inner-critic, fear or anxiety and it's holding you back?
Exploring the roots of stress, confusion and overwhelm.
Building inner and outer trust through working with the inner-critic and outer-critic, judgement and toxic shame.
Working with and healing traumatic patterns.
Accessing equilibrium and self-regulation through working with states of physical activation (excessive sympathetic nervous system arousal), anxiety, fight or flight patterns.
Do you want to break through those barriers to progress and forward movement in your life?
Accessing meaning and purpose in your life.
Harnessing greater wells of energy through identifying and resolving the unconscious drivers behind unhelpful thought patterns, dynamics, beliefs and behaviours.
Accessing and making space for your innate your inner leader.
- Internalise authentic support and constant guidance, building resilience to carry you forward.
"Discovering your unique gift to bring to your community is your greatest opportunity and challenge. The offering of that gift - your true self - is the most you can do to love and serve the world. And it is all the world needs."
The Jungian Archetypes in Shadow Work
The lens of the Archetypes can be used to represent the whole of human potential, and a gateway through which we can begin to understand and to see how our experiences and wounding might influence our perceptions, thoughts, feelings and actions. We all have access to these archetypes but the extent to which we express them differs and is determined by our experience, background and upbringing. Archetypes can be defined as blueprints for our emotional expression which cause us to react in a typical way to basic human experiences, inner or outer.
Through dreamwork, psychoanalysis and comprehensive study, Carl Jung identified archetypes as the hidden language of the psyche and a profound tool for psychological insight. The term “archetype” means original pattern in ancient Greek and Jung identified 12 universal mythic characters, archetypes, that reside within our collective unconscious and that represent the range of basic human motivations.
Later work condensed these 12 mythic characters to four (Moore & Gillette 1990, Boothroyd 2018). The four quadrant Archetypal model views the psyche as being divided into four distinct archetypal energies - areas of personality that can be viewed as sub-personalities or parts of us that stand alone and function almost autonomously as separate entities within us. Each of them carries a particular energy and can act as a semiautonomous part of our psyche with its own motivations, desires, feelings, thoughts, and way of being in the world. There are many different references to many different archetypes which describe different aspects of human experience. The archetypes in the four quadrant model are the Sovereign, Warrior, Magician, and Lover: their respective areas of influence being leading, taking action, thinking, and feeling. Employing this lens, each of these archetypes can be approached, individually explored and balanced as necessary.
Archetypes, Jung wrote in The Structure And Dynamics Of The Psyche, are the living system of reactions and aptitudes that would determine the individuals life in invisible ways. Each archetype has an essence, a particular quality to it, and it also has polarities, light and dark aspects which manifest as optimal and detrimental character qualities. Negative emotional and psychological experiences and impacts can create barriers to the access of these healthy and full ways of inhabiting what it is to be human and fully showing up in the world. When you’re out of alignment with an archetype, you will suffer the shadow aspects of it, the specific limiting beliefs and behaviours. When you’re in balance, you receive the gifts and benefits of it. When we have unencumbered access to these archetypes, we are able to draw on their attributes and qualities and experience that part of us in it’s fullness, harnessing it’s aspects to fully inhabit our lives.
The archetypal lens in personal development
In my work, I draw on the lens of the Archetypes as an extremely helpful way of working with clients. By exploring how these areas of personality show up in your life and identifying and exploring the experiences or wounding that have led to these parts of you closing down, we can work towards the goal of you having full and balanced access to each of these four archetypes, so that you are able to call on the most appropriate archetype at any point to support you and bring you back into alignment.
The aim is to have healthy access to each of these four archetypes and to be able to move freely between them; to move through life with all these energies in balance, allowing you to live life fully.
The Jungian concept of archetypes is very useful in working with behaviours or feelings you want to change. We can start this process by looking at how you express each of these archetypal energies and we can explore any imbalances. This serves as a framework within which we can examine what is driving unwanted behaviours and more importantly provide strategies to change the unhelpful or unwanted behaviours into something that really supports you in your life.